Relationships
All too often, people live in unhappy situations and feel frustrated about what to do about it.
Such a condition may lead to depression, so it is important to resolve the underlying reasons.
What is it all about?
We are born happy, demanding only sustenance and unconditional love. Our needs are simple: nutrition and emotional support. So where does it all go wrong? Obviously the challenge is different for every person. However we usually look to our own childhood to see the seeds of unhappiness being sown. Tension in our home becomes very stressful.
As we grow we absorb the attitudes of our parents and the environment around us.
We are inclined to blame everyone else for our circumstance. This attitude teaches us nothing, In fact, it gives us a ‘victim’ mentality which is disempowering. This in turn leads to frustration and bitterness. It doesn’t take long before anger and violence results.
What can we do about it?
Understanding our emotional needs is important. We all need respect and loving. However, this needs to be given to ourselves first before we can pass it on to others. Poor self-esteem is an unhappy companion. Feeling good about ourselves does require understanding and an acknowledgment of our good points as separate from our negative feelings.
We also need to extend this courtesy to others. Respect for another person goes a long way to living comfortably with them. In other words, give out the kind of behaviour that you’d like to receive back. This is done in the manner in which we talk. Using words like “please, thank you, I beg your pardon.” Communication skills are necessary and we all do this differently. Some learning is needed here. Who am I? What is my life all about?
Going back to our childhood we realise that our self confidence grows by the amount of praise we are given for succeeding in tasks as we learn them growing up. How we handle failure and how we feel about it. Failure is only another method of learning and our attitude towards making a mistake goes a long way towards explaining how we learn later on in our lives.
If our parents failed in supporting our efforts in our youth then we are hurt and feel less inclined to blossom in our personality. So it is up to us to give ourselves the unconditional love that we desperately need to grow fulfilled. This is called “ inner child” work and knowing who our inner child is and what are their emotional needs leads us to taking responsibility for our happiness.
No one can make you happy and no one can make you unhappy. You do it all by yourself by the way you think about things. Again no one can make you angry, it is all your own doing by the way you think about it. Someone can tell me a joke, and I can decide whether to laugh at it or not. It is my choice and that’s were the power of thought is. We always have choice.
We can choose to do the right or wrong thing. However there are always consequences.
Our minds are incredibly powerful. Being aware of what we think and controlling our thoughts leads us to the maturity we are asking for, the wisdom to be able to decide what is best for us. Happiness is an important part of health just as unhappiness affects our health badly. Learning to appreciate the power of our mind, and to self regulate our lives for the better.
What does it cause?
Not being able to discipline our minds and being at the sad end of emotional stress brings us stress, health breakdown, fear and anxiety, anger , sadness and depression. Where is it all going? Where do I get out of this unhappy mess? How can I help myself? Many people try running away but this only leads to another time, another place, another set of people, but the same lesson to be learnt.
Life is all about learning. You don’t have to go to a school to learn these things. Life is it’s own teacher and we need to listen within for the answers. There are spiritual laws that unwittingly we break. Knowing these simple rules sets us up for happiness along life’s journey. There are common values that we admire and expect others to share. Different cultures have different values though it is interesting to see common values immerge.
How can I help?
In the last twenty years I have been lead to learning about using the power of our mind to heal ourselves. I have studied health from the physical and mental and emotional point of view. I am astounded by how much pain we cause ourselves by the way we think. I enjoy extending this knowledge to my patients who are ready to release the pain by using simple techniques.
Did you know that various parts of your body absorb various painful emotions? You can even suffer from an excess of laughter! Your lower back carries the burden of your feelings of not being financially or emotionally supported. Imagine that! Releasing that stress leaves people free of months, even years of pain in minutes! Yes, I do these sessions every day of my working life.
However, not only do I aid you to clear the emotional pain from various parts of your body, I also teach you how to do it. My training with Barbara and Terry Tebo (both Psychologists and Philosophers) in their “Lifespring” groups have qualified me to take you through the gentle Free To Be Me Seminar.
This system takes you through ten Spiritual Laws and clearly explains where you can straighten your life out for yourself and gives you back a profound power of self understanding. You find peace and serenity and the knowledge that you now know the way back to health and joy. With clear understanding, you are in control the whole way. This process doesn’t take weeks, months and years, it only takes hours, a whole day on your own, or more time within a group class.
Naturally you are guided through the process and always supported in your journey of self discovery. A free session a few weeks later is available to continue to support you.
The course can be repeated, with each time a new understanding becoming possible. This work sustains me as I see people heal themselves quickly and profoundly.
How the Free to Be Me seminar changed my life:
“Today I have made simple what seemed insurmountable problems. I have made a commitment to myself to take steps toward greater acceptance and letting the problems fade as I embrace the great love that is and was always beyond the problems.” AJ 2009
Amazing. I feel lighter; a release from emotional and physical blocks: it’s a whole new way of viewing life. I have a new feeling towards the power of meditation and realising the importance of the mind. MM 2009
